The moments that make it all worthwhile!

I have had an exhausting couple of weeks. I was sick, then both girls were sick which also meant they didn't sleep well and neither did I. Jaden has been VERY challenging lately. He is not coping with the distance ed workload and just stitting doing endless pages of worksheets, especially maths. I have decided that since our home schooling registration visit is on the horizon ( next Tuesday) and we will be changing how school works very soon I have not been pushing him to do as much as he is 'supposed' to be doing.

 I am looking forward to our whole approach changing. I did the math placement test for the programme I am buying for maths and he struggled with the year 5 work, no wonder he is so stressed with year 6, he is basically at year 4 level and I realised he is basically still at the level he is at when I sent him back to school so I don't know if he just switched off at school or what happened but he has not progressed at all in maths, obviously he needs the one on one help he can get at home! I am also ditching the handwriting book completely. His fine motor skills make handwriting a struggle and the whole cursive thing is sending him bonkers, he sits there and scribbles on the page and scrunches it and starts punching the table. Does he need to be able to do it? NO!!! I want him to learn to print neatly and type, that is enough, he doesn't need running writing to succeed in life and so I see no need to induce meltdowns over it!

 It's not just schoolwork though, the whole pre-teen argumentative attitude is not much fun and ends up causing a lot of tension in the house. The aspergers 'world from my perspective' mindset, combined with a stubborn personality and pre-teen hormones can make for some very explosive times. I have to admit I have not been handling things well. Yelling seems to be my default option and it doesn't achieve anything except giving me a headache. I even told Jaden the other day that I didn't want to live with him anymore which I then had to apologise for later and talk to him about. Jaden and Brett have been fighting a lot lately too, and so have Brett and I, it's all been rather ugly. Add to that the tantrums of a 2 year old, constant fighting and whinging between the girls and I have felt like I may go insane!!! I have had moments of wishing I was anywhere but here and that being a wife and mother is a very raw deal. I have been feeling rather miserable and sorry for myself. But then there are moments when I am reminded of what a treasure these people are that I am entrusted to look after and I have captured some over the past few days in photos. Photos that remind me that there are smiles, and laughter and beautiful moments too!

And as for my attitude, well God and I are working on that and i'll get back to you later.....

sister kisses.

fun on the swings (although as soon as I pulled out the camera Bethany tried to escape)

cuddling a snail from our fairy garden, this snail got a ride round the yard in the bike trailer too.

Princess Bethy at the medieval fair, and then enjoying an ice cream there too.

Dressing up with cousin Abi at chat n play.

Deciding that musical chairs looked fun and just plonking down in the middle of the game :-)

Playing in the sand with cousin Josh.