Today is my 5th wedding anniversary. 5 years doesn't really sound like much, but it feels like a long time. A journey of ups and downs, tears and laughter, and adding to our family along the way. I am very thankful that we had my grandma's funeral yesterday and not today, it would've been hard to have our anniversary forever tainted with the memory of an incredibly hard and sad day for me. Due to the fact my family are all grieving and not up for babysitting our original plan to have some time to ourselves isn't going to happen, so we are celebrating as a family instead, going out to dinner tonight, and we are taking the kids to the zoo for the day tomorrow. To be honest it is really nice to have something to smile about today as I reflect on my lovely hubby and our life together.
I am still not myself, and I don't know know how this grieving journey is going to unfold. I have felt very loved and supported which is so lovely, but I am also a little sick of Christian cliches to be really honest. I know she was old and has gone to a better place but it does not mean that I shouldn't cry. There is a big empty space in my life now and just remembering the good times with her doesn't make that hole any smaller. I know Jesus is walking this journey with me, but it's still a journey and I am not going to be ok overnight. So today in the midst of sadness I am grateful for a reason to smile, and my wonderful hubby is a very good reason indeed!!
2 comments:
I too am sick of Christian cliches!! You need to be able to feel what you feel and to be able to share it honestly without having ppl give pat answers. Sharing your heart is important for growth but also to show that sometimes things suck even though we love and trust God. I have found so much comfort in the psalms lately and reading thru how raw and honest David was with his emotions and struggles and non understanding of what God was doing at this time. Your grandma was such a huge part of your life and it's natural normal and right to feel so devastated and sad at the moment. I will continue to pray for you as you walk thru this sorrow!!
Congrats to you and Brett on 5 years, I still remember your beautiful wedding day so vividly and I still am honoured that I got to be a part of it!!!!
Luv and hugs Donna
Saying a prayer for you. Yes, you need to grieve how you need to -- cry, scream, sit in silence. God is with you. Praying He will hold you close during this time.
Happy anniversary!
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