12!!

Today my little boy turned 12. Gosh that sounds so grown up, 1 more year until the teens, I can't quite get my head around where all those years disapeared to.

 Jaden woke up to our usual family birthday traditions... the table was set up with our birthday tablecloth and party hats, I hung up balloons and the happy birthday banner, wrote happy birthday on our little chalkboard and set out his card and presents. He had asked for the Wall-E game for his DS and some books. I was excited to find the game second hand at 'Game' as it is a few years old and not around brand new anymore, and I also got him a second hand Sponge Bob one (I happen to think Sponge Bob is quite ridiculous but it suits the humour of a 12 year old boy and he loves it). I decided he would enjoy shopping for his own books so I got him a $50 Dymocks voucher which thoroughly thrilled him, and a couple of bookmarks to go with it.

 We had yummy special pancakes for brekky.

 Then tonight we had Jaden's fave dinner which is spaghetti, followed by cake with some family. Here is the Lego cake I made. Jaden spends hours building with his lego and makes some really great inventions with it so I thought it was a fitting cake design :-)

 It was very yummy!!!!

 The kids enjoyed some playtime with their cousins and Jaden was excited to get another Dymocks voucher from Brett's parents, plus money from his great nan, my parents, and my sister and brother-in-law. He is looking forward to a shopping spree!!

We also had our registration visit with the Board of Studies person this morning which went really well and we got approved for 2 years. I contacted the distance ed school to withdraw and they have already processed it cause Jaden went to log on to his class site to leave a goodbye message and his login was invalid already. So as of tomorrow we are officially a homeschooling family again, yay! :-) Fabulous day all round!!

comments

Just a quick note to let my blogging friends know that I am unable to comment on most blogs at the moment. It seems to depend on what the settings are as I can't comment on blogs that have the comments under the post rather than in a pop up window. It has been like this for days and is apparently a 'known blogger issue' but they seem to be in no rush to fix it. I am still reading your blogs I just can't let you know!! Hope to be able to comment soon :-)

"because you say so..."

I mentioned in my last post that those photos of my beautiful children were there to remind me that it's all worthwhile in the midst of the days when I think I might go crazy, well I needed a bit more than that, I needed a big wake up call from God!!!

The reality is that I have been struggling the past few weeks, not just with sickness and tiredness or problems with the distance ed curriculum, what I have been struggling with the most is my own heart! I have been excited about preparing to register for home schooling, but there have been deeper undercurrents in my heart that were not so happy about it. I was becoming resentful that this seemed the only option open to me with a difficult child that just wont fit into any school system, I was feeling hard done by and that God was expecting more of me than I really wanted to give. After all this is a big commitment, this is the next few years of my life!! I had thought that next year I might be able to finally get back to my uni studies, Bethany is turning 3 and could go to pre-school, Jaden should be at school and Elora would be turning 2, no babies in the house, surely it would be time for me to get back to my dreams and plans right???!!!! Hmmmm maybe not......

Not only have I been compelled by God to go down the home schooling path for Jaden, but more and more it's been on my heart that 'the system' is not right for my girls either. I cannot bring myself to put Bethany's name down for pre-school. I had thought it was my own separation anxiety issues but more and more I have found myself hearing whispers in my heart that the point of pre-school is to prepare kids for the school system, so why do it if they're not going to school. Those thoughts were definately not from my mainstream brain, they were deep from my heart, and I believe are from God, and my response??? 'You have got to be kidding right, hello, I have plans to do something important with my life, to make a difference in the world for you God'!!!!!!

It seems so utterly ridiculous to argue with God that the plans I have to do something for Him are better than the plans He has for me, but logic is not my strong point here. So I have been very unsettled in my heart lately, arguing with God, feeling like he has railroaded me into a life I didn't choose and feeling liking I was going to lose myself in mummyland and never ever find a way out to actually do anything 'important' in the world. It seemed such a waste of my brains, gifts and potential to not finish my degree in community development, afterall I got 97.65 for my TER, had a distinction average at uni (HD's when I actually put in some effort), I even had an essay nominated for a university medal, surely God would not want me to waste all that talent right???? I have so many verses floating in my head right now about God's plans and thoughts being different from ours, should I really be that surprised when I am asked to lay down something that was my plan to follow what God has told me is more important?!

So this morning I took my self pitying, grumpy, self off to church with my family. I had a very sore back ( I have arthritis in my lower back, but last night I also pulled a muscle while cramped up in bed with my bubba Elora who was unsettled after having her needles), I hadn't had breakfast or even a coffee because I got everyone else ready and ran out of time, and I had a martyr complex going that being a mum means I come last and miss out on everything! Then God hit me right between the eyes.

The message was on Luke 5 where Peter was fishing all night and caught nothing but then Jesus told him to go out into deep water and let down the nets again and Peter said they'd worked hard all night "but because you say so, I will let down the nets". There it is so simple, Jesus spoke, and Peter's response was obedience "because you say so", and when he obeyed there were boatloads of fish, Jesus knew what was best (duh)! And after this episode "they pulled their boats up on shore, left everything and followed him". I was sitting there in church with tears rolling down my face, knowing that fighting God was making me miserable and therefore my family too because I have been so cranky lately and letting myself get overwhelmed with feelings of self pity insetad of finding the joy in my beautiful family. They are not a burden they are a blessing and in losing perspective I have missed out on God's best for all of us.

I picked up a book again that I read ages ago called "The Mission of Motherhood" by Sally Clarkson and it is speaking straight to my heart on what an important job being a mother is. Our society has forgotten. We have gained so many opportunities and that is great, but in embracing all the things we could be doing we can so easily lose sight of what's right under our noses. I know this may sound judgemental and controversial and it's not meant to, but the thought of handing my children over to other people to look after them, while I go do what I want to do is too big a sacrifice for me. I am the one that God entrusted their hearts too, I am the one responsible for them learning about God, and that's the most important thing they need to know. Of course they need to read and write and learn maths and other things too, but if I get the foundations wrong then I have totally missed the point of 'raising' my kids. All these years I have wanted to get a piece of paper to validate my importance, then go do something meaningful with it for God. And yet I have 3 eternal human beings that God has given me the task of raising to know Him, how could I have missed the importance of that?

This doesn't mean that I wont ever do anything else. God has given me a huge heart and burden for helping others, but I can do that as a mum. I love this quote from Lisa Bevere's book "Lioness Arising" 'justice does not require a legal degree, justice should be a lifestyle.' We have adopted a lifestyle of justice as a family.. buying fairtrade and telling others about it, particpating in birthing kit projects, organising advocacy events, sponsoring kids... I have done all that without a degree and it is part of who we are as a family. Jaden loves being involved and I look forward to social justice being a part of our everyday school life!!

So what does the future hold for me? I may never finish my degree, I may never do anything the world sees as important, but I will have made an eternal difference in the lives of those God has entrusted to me and to others who we can impact through loving God in our family lifestlye. Not everyone is called to homeschool and I don't know God's plans and purposes for anyone else, I just know that this is what he has asked of me and now that I have gotten over myself I have found the peace that has eluded me these past weeks while I chucked a mighty big tantrum. I will do what Jesus asks of me "because he says so". I want to be nowhere else but in the centre of His will for me, so just like Peter I am leaving behind everything to follow Him and I know that when I look back from eternity I will never regret it!!!

The moments that make it all worthwhile!

I have had an exhausting couple of weeks. I was sick, then both girls were sick which also meant they didn't sleep well and neither did I. Jaden has been VERY challenging lately. He is not coping with the distance ed workload and just stitting doing endless pages of worksheets, especially maths. I have decided that since our home schooling registration visit is on the horizon ( next Tuesday) and we will be changing how school works very soon I have not been pushing him to do as much as he is 'supposed' to be doing.

 I am looking forward to our whole approach changing. I did the math placement test for the programme I am buying for maths and he struggled with the year 5 work, no wonder he is so stressed with year 6, he is basically at year 4 level and I realised he is basically still at the level he is at when I sent him back to school so I don't know if he just switched off at school or what happened but he has not progressed at all in maths, obviously he needs the one on one help he can get at home! I am also ditching the handwriting book completely. His fine motor skills make handwriting a struggle and the whole cursive thing is sending him bonkers, he sits there and scribbles on the page and scrunches it and starts punching the table. Does he need to be able to do it? NO!!! I want him to learn to print neatly and type, that is enough, he doesn't need running writing to succeed in life and so I see no need to induce meltdowns over it!

 It's not just schoolwork though, the whole pre-teen argumentative attitude is not much fun and ends up causing a lot of tension in the house. The aspergers 'world from my perspective' mindset, combined with a stubborn personality and pre-teen hormones can make for some very explosive times. I have to admit I have not been handling things well. Yelling seems to be my default option and it doesn't achieve anything except giving me a headache. I even told Jaden the other day that I didn't want to live with him anymore which I then had to apologise for later and talk to him about. Jaden and Brett have been fighting a lot lately too, and so have Brett and I, it's all been rather ugly. Add to that the tantrums of a 2 year old, constant fighting and whinging between the girls and I have felt like I may go insane!!! I have had moments of wishing I was anywhere but here and that being a wife and mother is a very raw deal. I have been feeling rather miserable and sorry for myself. But then there are moments when I am reminded of what a treasure these people are that I am entrusted to look after and I have captured some over the past few days in photos. Photos that remind me that there are smiles, and laughter and beautiful moments too!

And as for my attitude, well God and I are working on that and i'll get back to you later.....

sister kisses.

fun on the swings (although as soon as I pulled out the camera Bethany tried to escape)

cuddling a snail from our fairy garden, this snail got a ride round the yard in the bike trailer too.

Princess Bethy at the medieval fair, and then enjoying an ice cream there too.

Dressing up with cousin Abi at chat n play.

Deciding that musical chairs looked fun and just plonking down in the middle of the game :-)

Playing in the sand with cousin Josh.

Life isn't fair!

I hear people (especially my son) whinge all the time that "life isn't fair"! Well guess what, it isn't! We live in a world where some people struggle just to get enough food to eat in a day, where access to basic things we take for granted like clean water, healthcare, and education are out of reach, and no that isn't fair. But life doesn't have to stay that way, we can make a difference, we can help make things fairer! It is fairtrade fortnight and today I hosted a 'fair cuppa' to share my passion for fair trade with some of my friends and family who wanted to learn more! I whipped up this chocolate brownie fudge cake for the occasion using fair trade cocoa and fair trade chocloate and let me say it was YUMMY, and there is none left!

I brewed up some fair trade coffee.

I set out a selection of fair trade teas, fair trade drinking chocolate and some fair trade instant coffee as well.

I put out some other yummy morning tea.. dip, cheeses and homemade scones.

And some fair trade choccies.

I put out some brochures and info and put some posters up around the room.

I also put out a donation jar and a birthing kit. What do they have to do with fair trade? Well it's all about giving people the best chance in life and and the best place to start that is right at the beginning! I am attending a birthing kit assembly day next week to see how it all works and a friend and I want to organsie one ourselves which is what the money is going towards, there was $48 put in this jar today. :-)

So back to fair trade. We enjoyed our fair trade drinks and yummy morning tea.

Then we watched some DVD clips about fair trade coffee and chocolate and I read out some information. We chatted about fair trade and people asked questions and hopefully they left knowing a lot more about how making some simple swaps in their shopping can help lift people out of poverty!

So what is fair trade all about? It's about making the system fairer for those who are the most vulnerable, the farmers and producers of some of the things that we in the Western world consume in massive quantities, like tea, coffee and chocloate. It's about ensuring that these people are paid decent wages, not exploited, that they have good working conditions and are not trafficked or their children forced to work, it's about being an ethical consumer. But even more than that fair trade differs from other similar programs in that it includes 'the fairtrade premium' which is an extra amount invested into these communities. It is not just a handout, it is a tool of empowerment. The farmers themselves are a part of this process, they make the decisions together of how to invest these funds and what they have invested in are the basic things we take for granted, schools for their kids, medical clinics, water, etc. By being given a chance to be a part of the production chain without being exploited they are given the opportunity to provide a future for their children and that is something I am passionate about investing in!! The slogan for fair trade fortnight this year is "show off your swap", I have swapped our tea, coffee and chocolate for fair trade and am learning more about other products I can swap too. What will you swap to help make life fair!

Books everywhere!

Oh how I love my books!! I have been spending time over the past few weeks figuring out my plans, goals, curriculum etc for Jaden for the remainder of year 6 and for the start of high school next year so that we could get registered for home schooling and withdraw from the distance education. Being a booklover who has raised a booklover I am doing a very literature based style with Jaden, as he LOVES to read so I have been on the lookout for appropriate books! I bought this first pile a few weeks ago from an ad on the Aussie Homschool forum. They are all Australian history, some are factual books, but several of them are novels, so Jaden can delve into history from a character's perspective!

I then got very inspired looking at the curriculum packages on offer at Sonlight in the USA, their Eastern Hemisphere explorer particularly caught my eye. The price however made it not a viable option, especially when the postage alone worked out to be over $130!! So I decided I could work something out myself and went on the hunt for books about India, China, Japan etc and was excited to find some for sale on the homeschool forum again from the same lady I bought the Aussie ones off. But wait there was more... she also had books on scientists and inventions (right up Jaden's alley), some more great Aussie books, ancient history books, biographies of world changers and some great kids fiction books for the girls as well. So I compiled a huge list, she worked out a great postage deal and here is my haul of books (the box was heavy cause it was so full), all of these plus postage for only $165! Much better than Sonlight I think!

 There are Australian history and biography books, plus one on Aussie painters for art.

 Ancient Greece, Rome and some medieval books.

 My favourite pile of biographies (the saints in the slums one is set in Japan, we have Mao's last dancer from China, mother Teresa from India, plus more)

 Books on inventions.

 Scientists and inventors.

 Plus some books to put aside for the girls when they're a bit older.

 I also bought this book last week, it was second hand but barely used, this is our art curriculum! It goes through syles of art, art through history, famous artists, ways to try different syles yourself. I'm looking forward to learning lots myself!!

I got my letter from the Board of Studies yetserday that they received my application to register and the Authorised Person will be in touch soon, can't wait!!!